that my husband and i would not talk so hateful to one another. we even talk about how we will cheat on each other as a sick game. i don't want to hate, it hurts my heart. Also i think the Devil is trying to use me to push my husband back into homosexuality. Please pray taht i will not seek to destroy and that he would not be tempted. He hates and is afraid of women due to sexual abuse. i feel the same due to sexual abuse. we both struggle with recreating abuse & victimization in our sex life and sahming and humiliating each other. basically we do not have sexual desire unless it is of this nature. is this why God put us together, so we would not hurt others. in our marriage we can lust for one another right? we degrade each other, but we like it. it's been 9 years we have been going around with this. i'm tired. i don't want to be a sexless thing, but i want to please God with this gift he has given us. is mild s&m, power & control & submission roleplay a sin? doesn't everyone participate in these acts in some form when they have sex? Could God use it as a form of therapy for us? will it progress to darker paths? I have prayed before about this and at times i felt led to certain books and activities that i normally would have considered sinful. Can recreating abuse in roelplay perhaps bring healing through experiencing pent up emotions never released? i know i am a new creature in Christ. i know too that God works everything for good for those called according to his purpose. i know God has used sin to work his will. please pray that we would also have healthy sexuality and body images. no self mutilation or self hate. help me to go to sex addiction group on fridays. i was invited after praying for help last week. Pray i would remember and have a ride.